Blessed
by fuzzydream archive
Summary: He had never felt so blessed. Spoilers for S6E4.


_A/N: I had to write something after last night's episode... And I hope everyone likes it! Let me know your thoughts, please. And thanks Terrie for editing!_

 _Disclaimer: I don't own Downton Abbey._

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 _Blessed_ by _fuzzydream_

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Their glances had been quick and secret, albeit frequent, for the rest of the day. The welcome party for Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes left no room for privacy and they were soon back to their duties, though Anna was thankfully let go very early - and curiously, he had been too. Perhaps Lady Mary had said something to his lordship, but John couldn't really say.

As they walked back to the cottage, however, he found himself growing anxious. He was happy - so, so happy, more than ever - but he was also anxious to know whatever had happened, whatever his darling wife had gone through. But Anna was all smiles - as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She was a little pale, maybe, but she was never as beautiful as she was now.

When the door shut behind them, now properly in their home, away from prying ears and eyes, she turned to him, just as he helped her out of her coat, and gave him a kiss - the first they managed to share today. His free hand touched her side softly and he smiled into the kiss. It had been just a few days, but he had missed her so much.

Them. Missed _them_ so much.

She offered to make them some tea, and he declined, saying he would do that himself - that would give him the opportunity to ask for some facts, and while he waited for the kettle he busied himself by taking off his jacket and shoes, and loosening up his tie. He worked on their tea - and added an extra spoonful of sugar to Anna's cup - and felt relief go through him as he heard Anna's moving about the drawing room. She was home. Home and safe. Ever since she had gone away from him that evening he had been worried sick about her, and even after she telephoned him the following afternoon his worries had not diminished. But she was home now, with such wonderful news. The best news.

He found her in her usual seat, shoes taken care of, and to his surprise her stockings had gone too. Her legs were splayed in front of her, and some of her hair had fallen from its neat bun. She looked beautiful.

"Here you go," John announced his presence, and Anna gave him a bright smile as he handed her the cup. "Are you hot?" he asked, gesturing to her legs as he took his seat in his favourite chair, pointedly bringing it closer to the settee.

Anna nodded. "Just a tad. A little uncomfortable. It's been a long day."

He nodded. "I suppose you'll need to rest."

He didn't mean the long term rest some expectant mothers did, and she understood, nodding after she took a sip from the tea.

"Yes. Lady Rosamund's maid looked after Lady Mary while we were in London," she explained. "But I'm fine now, I truly am. I just need to be careful."

John nodded. That wasn't all he wanted to know, but he didn't wish to bother her with questions. She needed to rest, he reminded himself, and that needed to be done not only physically. But Anna spoke before he could say anything else.

"After I told Lady Mary, a few weeks ago," she started, choosing her words carefully, "she took me to see a doctor in London. And he found out that I really am- I really was the problem. It could be fixed if I got pregnant again, but we couldn't be certain."

"That's why you didn't tell me," he said. It wasn't a question. Anna's eyes looked away from his, down on her lap. She nodded. He couldn't blame her for not telling him - Lord knew she was never to blame for anything. But he wished it hadn't been that way. "How long have you known?"

"I was certain about three weeks ago," she told him, looking back at him. "I suspected but... Well, it is still early. We've got more than six months to go," Anna said softly. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you and... I couldn't bear to be a disappointment again. I couldn't bear to be the one to give you false hope."

"But it wouldn't have been false, would it?" John asked, and Anna managed to smile over her teary eyes. "You could never be a disappointment to me. Never."

She broke his gaze again. "I didn't want to cause you any more pain."

He put his cup on the small table in front of them and reached for her free hand. "Any pain you go through I expect you to share with me. I am your husband," he said, and her lip quivered. "For better or for worse. Today you have made me the happiest man in this world, as you have on many other occasions in the past. Promise me you'll never suffer alone again."

She nodded, and he brought her hand to his lips. Anna sniffed, her empty cup now joining his on the table.

"I promise," she said at last, wiping a tear away from her cheek. "We've been through so much. I didn't want you to worry. I didn't want the news to cause you any trepidation or fear."

John smiled. "I'm half scared to death as it is, but I can take it," he tugged at her hand, and Anna quickly came to sit on his left thigh. Her weight settled nicely upon him, and his arms encircled her slight frame as her hands caressed his cheeks. A happy giggle left her lips. "What is it?"

"I'll be so heavy soon, you won't want me sitting here," Anna said.

John was quick to shake his head. "You'll never be too heavy for this. I'm looking forward to it," he said, his hand traveling to her hip and then to her front, stopping just below her belly button. "To everything. To see you grow. The little one grow."

"So you don't think I'm thickening up already?" she asked, a slight frown on her forehead.

His hands caressed her waist, weighing on what could be the best answer. "I thought maybe you ate all the pies."

"So that _is_ why you were eyeing me the other day, when I was changing clothes!" Anna said triumphantly.

John frowned, not remembering exactly when that had occurred. He had noticed that perhaps she was just slightly rounder the other night, but he thought nothing of it, as small as it was - truly, she was just as delightful, and his mind and body had been rather preoccupied then.

"I think maybe I had been eyeing you for other reasons, Mrs Bates," he said teasingly. "Besides, I stand by what I said years ago - you probably don't remember it. I would love you however, whatever, whenever."

Anna smiled, leaning in to meet his lips with her own. She tasted like tea and happiness. He fell in love with her again in that moment, when she pulled away and her bright, clear eyes looked back at him with such love. "I remember it. I'll never forget that."

"I do love you, so much," John said, his palm stroking her cheek softly, so softly. He was afraid she would break at any moment. "And I love our child too. Are you sure you're all right?"

"We love you too," Anna was quick to say, and her words brought a smile to his lips. "And yes, I'm fine. It was quick and that's done now. There's a chance that we won't have to worry anymore if it... Well, if it happens again. In the future."

Again. His smile grew brighter as he saw Anna allow herself to hope and dream again - as he saw her now, carrying their child inside her, and considering the possibility of more in the future. It was all right here in front of him - his whole world, and he was never so thankful for it. Anna shared his smile with one just as bright.

"Let's take it one day at a time," she said resolutely, giving his cheek a kiss and settling her head against his shoulder. "And today, seeing you realise that we are... We are having a baby, has made me so happy. I don't think I've ever been as happy. Except for maybe when we married."

"You were beautiful then. You are even more beautiful now," John said, holding her close to him. Anna hummed a reply, her sweet scent filling his nostrils as he took a deep breath. He hadn't seen her so happy in a long time. Maybe years. Since their wedding. He squeezed her waist softly. "You do know that... I'd be happy either way. You make me so happy, every day, just by being here. Just by being you."

She was quiet when he finished speaking, and he relaxed in his seat. He told no lies; much as he wanted children, Anna was more than he could have ever hoped for when he came to Downton the first time, so many years ago. And she made him the happiest he had ever been countless times - she had always been the light he had needed, and still did. Without her, his life would have been dark and empty. She filled it - more than completely.

When she spoke, he was surprised at how quiet her whisper was.

"I've wanted to be a mother," she said against his neck, "ever since I was a little girl. When I got into service, I gave that up. But when you came and... When you first asked me to marry you. I've wanted to be a mother since then," she said resolutely, "and I've wanted to give you children since then. Give us children." She had never told him this. He listened intently. She raised her head to properly look at him. Her cheeks were still damp with tears. "I couldn't wish for a better father to my children. And I'm just so happy. So, so happy."

"You'll be the best mother," he told her, "only, I hope you're ready to be the tough parent. You know I'll be hopeless whenever they ask me anything."

Anna giggled. "You'll do more than fine. And I gather we make a rather good team, Mr Bates."

"That we do," he said, eyeing her as she laughed. She was glowing. He couldn't resist kissing her one more time, this time slower, deeper. She moved against his lips with the sweet familiarity of old lovers, and she left him breathless when she pulled away.

"I look forward to... Celebrating this properly," Anna said, her cheeks flushing a rosy colour. "In just a couple of weeks."

"I look forward to it as well, Mrs Bates. We did do this together. As a team," he said, a little flustered as Anna ran her hand through his hair. "Though I suppose I should thank Lady Mary in this particular case."

Anna's laughter filled the cottage with happiness as they dreamed and hoped and now expected many days of happiness to fill their home in.

It was only as they were in bed, Anna snoring lightly beside him, that he realised the baby would likely be with them at Christmas-time. He didn't mind the sleepless nights they would likely have, the worry that was already filling his mind for Anna and for their child, the worry that would likely never cease from his life. This time, the Christmas present was already beside him, in the form of his wife and unborn child, and he vowed to make the most of each moment they would have from now on.

He had never felt so blessed.


End file.
